Post #4 Gender and Family Life

This week in my Family Relations class the topic was Gender and Family Life. There are many concepts to this topic. This week, I am choosing to write about the relationships between sisters. It’s been a great week to be reminded how grateful I am for my own sister. I have been close to her for many years. Previously before this week’s reading, I had not really paid attention to how important my sister relationship is to my own mental health. I just knew that when I had a good day or a hard day, my sister Christina, is who I choose to call. It’s been that way for years.

She is a great sounding board when I need to think out loud and she talks to me “straight” as well when I need it. For instance a recent phone call we had was over a difference of opinion for a family get together in another state. Instead of either of us getting mad because of differing opinions we were able to listen to each side. We have not yet come to resolution but we at least know where the other is coming from. This makes it possible to find the right answers for each of our families and still get together.

One of the many articles we read this week for class was titled, “Sisters give siblings better mental health study shows” by Joe Hadfield. This short article really struck a chord with me. Of course parents and other siblings matter significantly also. There are so many wonderful blessings that come from having loving parents and siblings. Personally, from my father I learned about treating everyone with kindness and choosing to be positive and happy. From my mother I learned about the importance of forgiving and letting go of hurt. From my brothers I have learned of their fierce love and desire to protect me. From my sister, I have learned about generosity, forgiveness, and never giving up. My family is everything to me.

Having a sister especially during the turbulent teenage years can help ease some of the low times that all young people experience. According to the article mentioned above, “[H]aving a sister protected adolescents from feeling lonely, unloved, guilty, self-conscious and fearful. It didn’t matter whether the sister was younger or older, or how far apart the siblings were age wise.” When I read this, I felt it was a perfect description of my feelings about my sister. The only clarification I need to add to the statement above is that in my current stage of life, which is middle age, it still applies!

I look at my own children and see the relationships they have. Of course some of them are grown and gone, but I can see in my children a great love between them. I see a bond between these girls and when one of them is feeling “lonely, unloved, guilty, self-conscious and fearful” they reach for each other. Often these sisters, are the first ones to reach for another sister for comfort. They are best friends to each other, they freely give affection with hugs, kisses, and I love you’s, they try to help each other ease the pain of hurt feelings or of guilt, they build each other’s self-confidence, and they reassure each other.

I am grateful for my own sister and for the sister relationship my own children have with one another. I am grateful for the enduring friendships in sisterhood. I am grateful for the love that is always there, even during times of frustration. I am grateful for the calm reassurance, when fears arise. I am forever grateful I have been blessed with a sister.